sidroth on August 17th, 2019

SID: Stephanie, what would you say to someone that says, “I don’t dream?”

STEPHANIE:  Well, first of all, we don’t want to repeat that over ourselves. We want to declare the truth of God’s word, which says I will dream.

SID: Why don’t we want to repeat that?

STEPHANIE:  Well, because it’s a lie. We all dream. We may not remember our dream and, you know, I’ve even met people who have said, “I remember in my life when I said I don’t want to dream anymore, ‘God, take every dream away from me,” and that has happened and actually even for a good reason. The Lord was probably allowing them to see something that was happening that terrified them. But if we can ask the Lord for an answer instead of discounting it, especially when our children are young, we will train them up in a way that they will hear from the Lord without anything else. The Bible says in Matthew 13, “We will receive progressive revelation from Heaven when we ask.” The thing is we don’t ask, and many times we don’t allow Him to speak to us the way He wants to. We want to declare the truth over us. You said I will dream, Jesus. I want to dream.

SID: For someone that is saying, “I don’t dream. I don’t remember my dreams,” you suggest we repent.


SID: Would you lead us in a prayer right now?

STEPHANIE:  Absolutely.

SID: Have any of you ever said that? “I don’t dream. I don’t remember my dreams.” Or even the third, “I’m too pragmatic. If it’s not literal, I don’t want to fool with them.” Would you pray for all three of those groups?

STEPHANIE:  Absolutely. I’ve done this myself, so I can fully repent on this even right now. I’ve already repented 100 times. Father, we just thank you for how you speak to us. You’re so precious to give us your word, to give us dreams. Now, Lord, right now we just remember the times when we’ve said, “I don’t want you to talk to me that way. I won’t hear it. I can’t hear it. I can’t understand.” Father, forgive us for that because you said if you give us something, you’re going to help us with it. Father, we ask right now that you forgive us and, Lord, would you help us to hear your voice in whatever way you want to speak to us, whether that be even smelling the things from Heaven, tasting the things from Heaven, hearing, sensing the things from Heaven? We just bless how you speak in dreams and visions and in wisdom and revelation in the night season. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Audience: Amen.

SID: Why should we not disregard a nightmare?

STEPHANIE:  Well, the Bible says a nightmare can save us from several things, making a bad choice– In fact it says–

SID: Most of us think if it’s a nightmare it came from a demon. I don’t want to pay attention.

STEPHANIE:  Right. It can keep us from making a bad choice, but it also says it can keep us even from an early death. A nightmare, guess what. The enemy’s strategy against you is terrifying. Now, do you think for a second that the enemy will show you his plans? No. He will not. But guess who will. Jesus will show this bright spotlight on the enemy and it’s just like when the cockroaches are exposed and they run for cover. That’s what happens. Many times, not what we’ve seen in nightmares, is that God is giving strategy to defeat the enemy’s plans against– We watch this with children and the Lord is so good to give them dreams that will expose what the enemy is doing in their homes or around them.

SID: Tell me one real case, a real person.

STEPHANIE:  My own son had a dream. He had wanted to go to a skate park and this man had invited him to a skate park. It was a man I didn’t know, but him and his friend had been invited to go down to this skate park. He called me and asked and I said, “No, I don’t know this man. No, you may not go.” He was saying that and he was downtown Denver, a long ways away from home. It wasn’t close. I said, “No, you can’t go.”

STEPHANIE:  That night, my son has this dream that he’s going to an amusement park and in the dream, thank God he told me this dream in the morning, in this dream he walks up to the desk. He said, “I was paying to get into this amusement park. I looked up and there were storefronts up there. When I looked up, I realized the storefronts were fake. I looked back behind and it looked compelling, but when I looked back to pay my money, this man came over the desk and attacked me and tried to beat me up.”

STEPHANIE:  This repeated two or three times in the night, but when he got up in the morning, he told me the dream and I said, “Oh, honey, this is a strong warning. Do you remember what the invitation was yesterday?” He said, “Yeah.” I didn’t say anything else. I just said, “You need to know that this is a warning from the Lord.” That day, sure enough, he got an invitation again to go and you know what his answer was? “No, I am not going.” I didn’t say a word. I didn’t have to say anything.

SID: You said before you go to sleep at night, you close doors.


SID: Briefly explain.

STEPHANIE:  Yeah. We want to close off– You know what? We want to dedicate our sleep to the Lord. We dedicate our day to the Lord, and actually our day begins in the evening. As you know, when you go to Israel, it starts in the evening. That part, how much more that beginning part of our day should we give to the Lord and just begin to ask Him to fill our evening and our night with the things of Heaven so that we can get this progressive revelation right straight from Heaven and be ready for it? I want to dedicate my day to the Lord, but I also want to dedicate my sleep.

SID: You have such an anointing for people to understand their dreams. Would you pray just a brief prayer for us to understand our dreams?


SID: I want to receive it.

STEPHANIE:  Me too. Jesus, we are so blessed to have the huge gift of dreams and visions. Forgive us when we’ve neglected that gift. Father, we ask that you will teach us daily to understand more, to read the word of God, to begin to steep ourselves in the holy word of God, and may we understand that when we have a dream, you’re speaking. You’re giving us immediate revelation for our own lives. Father, forgive us when we’ve disregarded you. We want to honor our dreams and visions. Help us to write them down so that we will be able to interpret what you’re saying to us. Father, we thank you in advance. I believe everybody that’s listening to my voice right now will begin to dream in a new way.

STEPHANIE:  Father, right now we just thank you that as those dreams come down, we’re going to write them down. Lord, we just commit to honor what you give us. We’re not going to disregard it ever again. We’re going to honor it and we’re going to pursue you for the interpretation. Father, we ask right now for the gift of interpretation of dreams and supernatural happenings that we don’t understand. We want to lean heavily upon the Holy Ghost, the Holy Spirit, to help us understand. In Jesus’ name. Make the word of God so real to us that it is our life breath and just our daily food, our manna, our bread. In Jesus’ holy name. We love you, Lord.

SID: I want everyone to say, “So be it”-

Audience: So be it.

SID: The short version of “so be it” is “amen.”


sidroth on August 6th, 2019

CLEDDIE: You know I want to answer something that Sid asked me. He said what is the revival going to look like that God is going to send? And I’m telling you were on the verge of a move of God!

AUDIENCE: Praise God!

CLEDDIE: I mean for him to buy the station over in Israel. Do you all understand that what God does in the natural will manifest in the spiritual?


CLEDDIE: I’m telling you just the fact that he was able to go in there with his genuineness. Let me call it that. That’s what I like about Sid after being around him and the humility of his life and his wife. We were eating with them last night and I thought man, she’s got the best story around here. She gets to talk about all he’s ever done and she gets to air out his dirty laundry.


CLEDDIE: And we’re all glad to listen to it. But what happened he asked me what’s it going to look like and I can tell you right now I don’t know but I know you’re not going to like it!


CLEDDIE: He said aw, you got to be kidding. No, no I’m not kidding at all. Because what happens and there are several answers to this that I want to deal with. And some churches’ will never have an outpouring. Some preachers will never experience an outpouring in their life and some individuals will never experience an outpouring and there are reasons why. And that is because you see people are not willing to go the second mile. The moment God begins to move it. Puts, a second mile, in you! If God sends a revival to your life I’m going to tell you right now you’d better get in shape! For ten years I traveled 120 days a year all over the world a year as a pastor. I came back and would have conferences 4 and 5 times a year and the services were running from 7 o’clock in the morning until 1 and 2 o’clock in the morning and we’d go to the hotel and go to sleep and get up and be at it again. That went on for 10 years.


CLEDDIE:  And it all happened when I begin to pray a prayer and the prayer was this. God if you don’t send revival to our church! Now we had a great church. We’re building churches in Mexico. We did that you know for our hobby. We’d go down and build churches in Mexico. And I love the church. We had great programs. We had great things and great people. Preachers were being produced. And I really think that’s the way you measure a church. How many people are coming out of that church, that are producing men and women of God, and missionaries? And so all of that was happening but I wasn’t satisfied. God had satisfied me with a divine dissatisfaction! And when I was a child I saw God move and I could never be content after seeing what God did when I was a child. I could never one day be content with the same old same old!


CLEDDIE: I just could not be satisfied. So I begin to pray. Sid, I begin to pray God if You don’t send revival, if You don’t send a revival like I know You can, if You don’t send revival like I saw when I was a child when You gathered my family in, then a million years from now I am going to disgrace heaven with your tears! And I meant it! I would pray that prayer every day! Finally, I got the people to begin to pray God if You don’t send revival, a revival like I know You can. This needs to be the prayer of America right now! God, if you don’t send revival to this land, revival like I know you can where the blood of Jesus solves the differences of culture and race if you don’t send revival like I know you can then a million, million years from now I’m going to disgrace heaven with my tears! I would pray that on Sunday mornings! All of a sudden there was two or three people begin to pray it with me. The prayer warriors begin to pray it with me! The intercessors begin to pray it with me! People that loved the church begin to pray it with me and all of a sudden on July the 17th 1994 God answered that prayer. I was up preaching and had a great message you know that I was getting ready to deliver. I mean it was, you know it was a home run! It was a sugar stick. It was one that I was very proud of.


CLEDDIE: Like every preacher should be but all of a sudden what happened was is the power of God fell, in the building. I tell people God hijacked the church!


CLEDDIE: He literally did! He literally hijacked that meeting and all of a sudden people jumped up! They begin to run around the building. They were so excited. I never have seen The preachers were running counter-clockwise. The people running one way and all the preachers in the church running against the grain! I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be. But when I was setting up the front finally I just sat down by the pulpit. I just watched people going by and it was like I mean I’m telling you they were 80 years old. They were running! They weren’t trotting! They were running!


CLEDDIE: And people just run up and spin. We didn’t have any catchers. It wasn’t that formal. There wasn’t any of that. I mean they’d just run up and spin around like a helicopter and fall flat on the floor!



sidroth on July 26th, 2019

BECKY: So I mean, you know, there was nothing anybody could do in the natural. And so I heard myself say, “Marcos, I know in the physical realm, there is a distance between us. But in the Spirit realm, there’s no distance.” Why am I saying that? I have no idea, it was just what was coming out of my mouth. And I said, Marcos, I need you to start breathing on your own, now!” And I said, “Breath, breath, breath.” I said it 3 times, and I had a peace, that I cannot explain. It’s not of this world; it’s acutely a place. And it’s in the presence of God. His manifested presence. My little baby, my, little-adopted, baby boy who had been pronounced dead. And his lungs and coming up out of his nose, and his blood in little pieces, and he’s just lying there. Nobody’s there. And all of a sudden, he just goes, [gasps for air]. The Spirit of life came back into him. But it wasn’t over. We had to believe for a new heart. You need a new heart here? Anybody need, a new heart? My boy’s heart was exploded, Honey. It was gone. You can have a brand new heart in Jesus’ name. Just like the lady we testified of. She has a new heart. She no longer lives in fear of death, of premature death. We laid hands on him, and said, “In Jesus’ name, we renounce the spirit of death, and we release the spirit of life. We command a new heart to be recreated to function perfectly normal.” The next day, we had a brand new heart.

AUDIENCE: [clapping]

BECKY: We had to believe for brand new lungs because they had exploded into little pieces and came up out of his nose with his blood. We said, “In Jesus’ name.” Because they all were saying, “This is miraculous. We aren’t doing this, but this is impossible. He’ll never survive.” And we said, “We’re Christians.” That was what our confession was to them; not rudely, but with total confidence. As Sid said, “Maybe ferocious.” You know, we just said, “We’re Christians, we believe in healing. He’s been raised from the dead. He has a new heart, not so that he can die the next day because of his lungs.” NO! In Jesus’ name. We laid our hands on that little body the next day, and we said, “In Jesus’ name, we renounce the Spirit of death, and we release the Spirit of life.” Get it, because you’re going to do it. We release the Spirit of death, and we release the Spirit of life. And we command new lungs to be recreated and to function Perfectly normal.” Why Perfectly normal? We didn’t want asthma and anything of that nature. What did we have? The doctors, they didn’t believe us. They didn’t know what was going on. They couldn’t explain anything. They said, “We’ll see in a few days. We’re going to start pulling the tubes.” They didn’t even ask us. They just started pulling the tube. And we said, our response was, “Yes, he will breathe, on his own. He has a new set of lungs.” You got to call those things that are not as though they already were. You don’t say what you have. You don’t say that you have a bad heart. Because if you say that, you’re going to continue to have a bad heart. If you continue to say, one day, I’m going to be healed, you’ll never catch up to your healing because you always speak future. Jesus says, “salvation” which includes healing, “is now”.  Because it was already done. You just need to learn hot to activate it. Just like you believed to receive Jesus into your heart as your Lord and Savior. It’s the same type of Faith. You might have to fight the enemy a little more. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t. But you know, somebody probably had to fight for your salvation. And you just didn’t see it, you didn’t know it. And so we laid our hands on him, and they said, “We’ll know in a few days when we start pulling the tubes” because they didn’t believe. It’s like it doesn’t matter if you believe. I’m shutting my physical eyes and I’m looking at him as Jesus sees him; healed in Jesus’ name. And when they pulled that tube in a few days, what did we have. A new set of lungs, so he was breathing on his own. Then they said, “This baby will never survive. This is miraculous and we’re not doing a thing.” That’s what they said. At least they were honest about it. And they said, “But he’ll never live.” His kidneys were dead, and so his body just kept swelling and swelling. He was drowning in his poison. And they said, “He’ll never survive.” We said, “We are Christians, we don’t hope. We believe in healing.” And we laid our hands on him, and what did we say? In Jesus’ Name. We renounced that Spirit of death, we released the Spirit of life. And in Jesus’ Name, we commanded a new set of kidneys. And the next day, do you know what we had? A brand new set of kidneys and they cleaned themselves out.

AUDIENCE: [clapping]

sidroth on July 5th, 2019

SID: You quote in Romans 8:28, right? But you don’t look at the verses before Romans 8:28. It describes praying in supernatural languages. So what causes all things to work together for good in your life? Praying in supernatural languages. How could we have missed it? But we did. Let’s talk about some of the benefits of speaking in tongues. Well, let’s go back to the verse before Romans 8:28, Romans 8:26: “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses.” I looked that word up. Guess what it means in the Greek? Our sicknesses. Do you realize when you’re praying in supernatural languages, you’re praying, perfect prayers of the areas in your life that have to be rectified to get rid of the sickness that has its ugly hook inside of you? I mean, I’d be praying in tongues day and night if I understood this. The second thing, second benefit, how would you like to praise God all the time? The truth is, you don’t have the ability in English to praise God 24/7. But listen to this. 1 Corinthians 14:17: “For you indeed give thanks well when you’re praying in tongues.” You’re giving thanks. You’re not just giving thanks, you’re giving thanks well. You want to give thanks well? Pray in tongues. Number three, you become God inside conscious. There was a book that intrigued me so much many years ago. It was written by Brother William Lawrence. It was called, “Practicing the Presence of God”. When you know that you’re praying, from your Spirit, you’re praying God’s words. Do you realize that? You are practicing the presence of God. And as you begin to, as a matter of fact, I’ll give you a tip. Next time you pray in tongues, just realize and concentrate. I had a guest that explained this. It’s called drop down to your Spirit. And as you willfully drop down to your Spirit, see you’re not praying anyway. But you’re praying from God inside consciousness. When I’m praying from supernatural languages I am conscious of God. Every second, because it’s coming from my Spirit, not from my mind. And if you can be conscious of God in everything you do. Do you realize that the same presence that Brother Lawrence had, he was a monk, a dishwasher, crippled; and the highest people of the land would seek him out because there was such an explosion of the love of God pouring out of this man? So it’s got nothing to do with the money that you have. It’s got nothing to do with the education that you have. This man had no money. This man had no education. But he was conscious of God. And everyone wants to believe that God is personal. Everyone wants to know this God. And you will, it will pour, His love, the more you pray in supernatural languages, the more his love is going to pour out on everyone you come in contact with. Let’s suppose your spouse is not a believer and they take you to a cocktail party. And you go because you love your spouse, and you don’t preach to anyone, because of your spouse has said, “Don’t preach to anyone!” That’s never happened to anyone here. Right here. Right? You won’t have to. His love; people will be drawn to you. I mean, all right, number four, supernatural inner healing and forgiveness. You don’t realize it, but the first few years you’re praying, in your supernatural language, you think you’re praying for the whole world. Wrong. You’re praying for yourself. You’re getting yourself bailed out. You’re getting yourself. Listen, we’re imperfect people who were parented by imperfect people because their parents were imperfect. You expect to be perfect over night? You took a whole lifetime to be imperfect. So by praying in tongues you’re having tremendous inner healing and becoming normal, so the Master can use you. The fifth thing, supernatural protection. I interviewed a woman that prayed in tongues for an hour and then went to the grocery store. And as she got out of her car someone pulled a gun on her and said, get back in your car, took her to a wooded area. What she didn’t know is this man was wanted by the police for having raped and murdered 40 women that looked like her profile, looked like her. Do you know because she prayed in tongues she had supernatural protection? I’m going to tell you something, she would have been number 41 if she didn’t pray in tongues. This guy not only did not rape her, not only did not murder her, but gave himself up to the police, and received Jesus.

Audience: (claps)

sidroth on June 25th, 2019

HAKEEM: You will begin to raise up glory-carriers. This is such a season where now, You’re causing Your prophetic Spirit to be released upon all flesh: and your sons and daughters will prophesy. Who is He speaking about? He’s speaking about you. You are the sons and daughters that God’s going to use in the hour; you’re going to be the light of the world. And the Lord says Son and daughter, know that in this hour I am going to use you as a beacon of light. God says, Get ready, for this is your season and this is your time; for son and daughter, you have been in hiding; you have been in the back; you’ve been overlooked; but the Lord says, I will raise you up, says the Lord, to bring you to the forefront. From what is in the back, I shall bring to the forefront. This is the hour where God says, You will not retreat; you will not revert; but this is the hour, the Lord says, I am going to raise your voice. I am going to raise your influence. I am going to give you the spheres of influence in this hour, to be a voice of change. You will be a voice of hope, and Jesus the Prophet will speak through you. Jesus the Prophet will declare over you. Jesus the Prophet will use your mouth, your voice, to begin to bring change, for this is the hour of great glory. And waves of revival is about to hit this nation like never before. And I hear the Lord saying that I Am releasing dispatching angels before you, and I’m going to cause ‘the crooked places to be made straight.’ And this is the season where the Lord says, I am activating the gifts. I Am causing and cultivating the gift and the prophetic senses. This is your season; this is your hour. Some of you said, There has to be more; There’s something got to be more; There’s something more. And yes, you are that more; you – in you, God says, Am going to bring more out of you. I am going to cause you to be that voice, to be that model of change, to be the conduit of My glory. Get ready; this is the season where God says, Do not fear. But God says rise up, because this is the season to Arise, and shine, for My glory shall come upon you. This is the season where His Spirit is sweeping, upon the nation, across the nation, looking for revivalists, looking for reformers, looking for those that would do great works. You – greater works will go through you and be in you. And get ready, for this is your hour. I just release that upon you right now. Some of you that are watching, you’re saying, There’s something more; God said Yes, –


HAKEEM: more in you.

LARRY: Yeah; yeah. And again, thank You, Lord, for just moving. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for what You’ve said.


LARRY: Again, the key to operating in the prophetic: First, hear what God is saying, then say what He’s saying. That is you, speaking light, into the darkness – in your life, and the world around you. Thanks for joining us today.


sidroth on June 17th, 2019

SID:  Keith, is God showing you anything right now?

KEITH:  I believe that there are prisoners, people who have had their praise hindered and suppressed because people have said “you sing off key” or “You’re not pretty and melodious” and whatever, and those things have stifled some of you. But the Lord says: “I’ve come to give you life and that you have it more abundantly.” And so what we want to do, what I feel like the Lord is saying to do is to use the “key of David” to unlock that prison door and to release the prisoner. He’s come to set the captive free. And He’s ready to hear your praise, not somebody else’s praise. It doesn’t matter if You’re “pitchy” or if you can’t sing or if You’re heavy or if You’re skinny or if you don’t dress just this way or that way. It has nothing to do with any of that any longer. The Lord says, “I am ready to hear the song of my bride being sung to the bridegroom.” And so the Lord just simply says to those who are bound tonight “Be free.” And in the name of Jesus, if that’s you, I want you to just raise your hand even in this audience, I don’t know, if you’ve been trapped up with your praise, if it’s been suppressed, just raise your hand, keep it up, it’s okay. Look, I was told all the time I was too fat, I was too was too boisterous, I just played the piano to be in the spotlight, and it just tormented me, and I just didn’t want to do anything and I just kept quiet for the longest time until the Lord says, “Come free, come free. “And that’s what I want to pray tonight. So in the name of Jesus, ha, tonight: Father, we use the key of David to unlock that door of the prison. Ha– Lord, in Jesus name we call forth the praise to erupt and start bubbling, even as a volcano deep within their spirit, that which has been suppressed and pushed back and hidden and locked away. Father, You said “Now it’s time to arise and shine for Your light has come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.” And so even as You spoke to Lazarus and called him out of the grave, and he came forth bound and swaddled and he was wobbling out, so too Father, we call that praise even now: COME OUT– and be released. SILENT NO MORE, in Jesus name. Silent no more! 

SID:  Keith– even those that are worshippers of God, and there ARE many worshippers of God watching us and in the audience, even those of you that are worshippers of God, do you know you worship from glory to glory? You don’t just– if You’re just staying constant in your worship, You’re walking backwards and you don’t even know it. I believe that as our Psalmist, our tour guide from heaven, leads us in a new song of worship, there will be breakthroughs in your worship. If you have breakthroughs in your worship, you have breakthroughs in the presence of God. If you have breakthroughs in the presence of God, you’ve got everything! So this is my moment, ha, this is your moment for a breakthrough. Worship God because He’s the only one worth worshipping. Worship God because He is. Worship God because He’s your oxygen. Worship God because your parent’s didn’t raise a dummy.


sidroth on June 6th, 2019

CHESTER: Yeah, and I didn’t know how it fit together, but I heard come out of my mouth ‘through abandonment.’ And there’s all different forms of abandonment. Anytime we get separated, isolated from somebody else that’s some form of abandonment. Anytime that gets in there it raises the question: ‘What’s the matter with me that this is happening to me?’ And we always it seems like the devil helps us, we come to a wrong conclusion. We decide there must be something the matter with me, I must be deficient somehow or these bad things wouldn’t be happening to me. And out of that conclusion we get ‘Well, what if other people find out? Then they’ll abandon me too. I’ll get more wounded.’ You know we humans go through life trying to avoid pain. And the pain of abandonment is probably as big as any because God designed us for fellowship with Him and with other people. And so when we get abandoned we get a lot of pain. And so the shame: something the matter with me, gives place to fear: what if they find out, and then we give place to control: I’ll keep them from finding out. And I grew up in the old wild west you know, in eastern Oregon, and I can just see control. It’s like the sheriff in the old outlaw days, you know, the sheriff’s staggering down Main Street, he’ got his 2 six guns and he’s sayin,’ I’m going to protect you, I’m going to keep people from finding out about your shame.’ And we sometimes shoot ’em up, don’t we, we mow other people down if they in any way come in and touch or abuse us in a way that exposes or threatens the exposing of the shame. So about 2 weeks after we meet this lady and we share all this with her, Betsy and I are sitting on our couch one evening after a day of ministry and I turn to my dearly beloved, and I say ‘We’ve been talking about this, you know, from a clinical point of view.’ And I say, ‘You know you’ve got this too, you’ve got this shame, fear, control.’

BETSY: I DO NOT! And even if I do, you got it worse than I do!


CHESTER: So she gave herself away-

BETSY: Let’s just get real- there we were. [laughing]

CHESTER:  That’s one way control operates. We put others down to make them worse than what we are so that we won’t feel so bad about our shame. So I’d already been thinking about it so it wasn’t shameful for me to say, ‘You’re right, I do have it too and it probably is worse than yours, but it’s not a competition!’


CHESTER: But it’s an understanding, and faith can arise and why don’t we get free of this?

BETSY: So we decided we were going to make war on this thing-


BETSY: that we were tired of being under its feet, yeah! It was holding us back, it was stopping us, it was messing in our marriage, it was messing with our kids, and all of our relationships, and we just decided ‘enough is enough!’

CHESTER: Yes. And that’s the only way we found to get free of this. Yes, we apply the integrated approach, we deal with the ancestral sins, we deal with our ungodly beliefs, we deal with the wounds of our heart, and we cast demons out, but it’s not an instantaneous thing, or a one day or a two day thing. We have to declare war on shame and keep the war going until these strongholds, these super strongholds are eradicated from our lives. So Betsy, why don’t you talk some about the fruit, the different ways this can manifest in our lives.

BETSY: Okay- let me find this- yeah, I actually would like to talk just a little bit more about the roots. Chester mentioned that abandonment was one of the major roots.  But you know we have so many different kinds of abuse in our society right now. We got verbal abuse and put downs. We’ve got spiritual abuse. We have physical abuse. We have sexual abuse. You know we have abuses that just devastate us, and have so much shame associated with any one of those kind.

CHESTER: And they’re all different forms of abandonment because they separate us from each other.

BETSY: And they’re all, they are. They separate us from each other. We’ve got poverty that has a lot of shame with it. We have illegitimacy, which was my story which has a lot of shame associated with it. We have alcohol and all the addictions. We have the shame by association. If you grew up in an alcoholic home you know what I’m talking about, where you are ashamed to be associated with a family or a group of people. It’s the key of understanding shame is it’s really got to do with any way that you feel different from other people that makes you feel less than others. I mean it can be simple like you’re the only kid in the class with red hair, or you’re the only one with glasses. Or you’re really tall and everybody else is short. It doesn’t have to be you don’t have to be handicapped in some way in order to feel a lot of shame. But it can really shut down our spirits, it really does.

sidroth on May 26th, 2019

SID: She was so traumatized, understandably so that she’s weeping even as she tells this story. But what did Jesus tell you as to why He took you to hell?

LAURIE: When the Lord spoke to me and finally healed my heart, He said, “I took you to hell, because I love you.” If God had not shown that to me, if I had died without Him showing that to me, I know I’d be there right now. He loves me and He’s mighty to say it, and in that instance, that’s what it took.

SID: What do you believe is the biggest lie of the devil out there?

LAURIE: I think, once saved, always saved. It’s understanding as I bump into people, I think that is a hell conspiracy. I think it’s the biggest lie. Because the idea behind that, Sid, is that I’m going to give my life to Jesus today, he’ll wipe away all my past sins, and it doesn’t matter how I live anymore, I can—

SID: But that’s the new revelation of grace, not the biblical revelation.

LAURIE: Correct.

SID: What about something like the major Christian sin that I see, that I’ve participated in, gossip.

LAURIE: It grieves Jesus, it should grieve us. Inside of gossip, why are we doing that first? Until you heal that you will constantly do that. Really, you need to go to Jesus and get your identity first. Then, inside of gossip, you have just murdered a person’s reputation. This is very, very serious. For myself, I’ve made a salt covenant with my tongue with the Holy Spirit, because that is one of the first sins that I was guilty of. We think, well, it doesn’t matter. Of course, every sin matters, it’s recorded.

SID: When you go to bed, you do something, tell me about that.

LAURIE: I do. Before I go to sleep, I talk to Jesus and I tell Him how much I love Him, and I ask Him, “Lord, how did I do today?” Sometimes, He’s like, “Laurie, you do this and you need to go fix it.” And other times He tells me, “You did this and I don’t want you to do that anymore.” He uses it as a learning because there’s a difference between immaturity and rebellion. When I’m rebellious, he needs me to fix it. If I’m just immature, He just trains me in a new way of doing things.

SID: Do you, and can I have assurance of salvation?

LAURIE: Absolutely. The blood of Jesus Christ saves us. Absolutely, exclamation mark. As a born again believer, we obey Jesus.

SID: I’ve always lived my life. I repent so wide. I find that if I’ll do it instantly, rapidly, it’s easier than if I let it get infected in me.

LAURIE: Right. Well, and I try and teach repentance in four parts; one, agree with God that what you’re doing is a sin. Two, have Godly sorrow over that sin. It’s more than just being sorry. Sorry, you’ll do it again. Godly sorrow hurts you. Three, you confess your sin, one to another, and the Bible says, you’ll be fervently healed. And step number four, you have to put something in place in your life that you will never do that again. I teach that and I help people figure out what number four do you need so that you don’t sin against God again.

LAURIE: Sometimes we have to put a few number fours there, and God completes that work for us because He loves us so much. But repentance is the only acceptable sacrifice for my sin.

SID: Would you lead us in prayer for repentance?

LAURIE: Oh, Jesus, I love you. I love you, Father, I love you Holy Spirit. Thank you that you came to pay the ultimate price. You say we’re worth it. Oh worthy, worthy, worthy Jesus are you. We come asking, God make us holy. Give us a hunger and a desire for holiness. God, come right now and convict us of our sin that we need to be free. We need to be set free from the ways of the devil. And God if the hell conspiracy is in any of us, Jesus, set us free. Every sin that I commit needs to be brought to you repented of. God, make me holy, and with that holiness comes more of your presence.

LAURIE: Let me rest in the assurance. You said to be holy, as your Father in Heaven is holy, I desire that, we want that, God. Would you come and rest that, wrap that around us and make us fully yours. We don’t want any part hiding. Every part of us that is dark, Lord, shine your light. We love you. We love you, Jesus. In your name, we believe you’re changing us. Hallelujah. Amen.

SID: If you have anything against anyone, it’s not an emotion, it’s a choice. It’s not a process, it’s a choice. I’m going to follow God or not. Yes or no. You release that person, you say, “Hell is not going to be worth my own forgiveness to you.”

SID: I’ll tell you something else, forgiveness doesn’t mean you trust someone that’s done something wrong to you. They have to earn their trust again if they want to, but it means that I am not touching that cancer. I am not touching that stuff. I don’t want to touch it because that’s separating me from God. God, I don’t want anything separating me from you.


SID: When we go off the air, you choose to forgive the people that don’t deserve forgiveness. Because what did Jesus say about his coming back?

LAURIE: He told me recently, I’m coming back much sooner than you realize.

SID: Did you get that? I’m coming back sooner than you realize.

LAURIE: Hell is worse than anything that I can give you words for. Even Jesus told us that there would be weeping and gnashing of teeth and God doesn’t want us there.

sidroth on May 17th, 2019

SID: So, I don’t want her to lose her voice, so I’m not going to ask her cry out help me again, but what happened when you cried out?

JENNY: I just felt the peace of God. I didn’t see lightening, there was no flashes, I didn’t have any goosebumps. I just felt this peace and I remembered that the Lord had encountered me early. I knew the Lord was real. Even when I was a witch and I was doing spells and I was cursing at God. I still knew he was real and I still knew the Lord could save. So, the peace of God came over me a few days later, I was taken out of that situation of drugs. I was given prenatal care, I got something to eat after five days of no food at all and God just began to really encounter my life.

SID: Oh. But what about your daughter and her health? How is she today?

JENNY: She was born absolutely completely free of any drugs. Yep. Healthy.

SID: How old is she today?

JENNY: She’s nine years old and she’s actually a worshiper. She’s a prophetic worshiper.

SID: Through the process of time, all was getting fine. You were free of lesbianism, you stopped the drugs, you stopped the witchcraft, but you weren’t totally free. You went to a meeting. It was a deliverance meeting.

JENNY: Yes it was.

SID: Tell me about that.

JENNY: Yeah I went to a deliverance meeting. Some people invited me.

JENNY: I was sitting in the meeting and they did all these prayers and they had us renounce all this stuff and I was actually sitting there thinking, “I don’t need to get delivered from anything.” I’m already saved. I have been saved a few years. I had been in church and actually at that time, I was already started leading worship.

JENNY: So, the lady took me over to the side and it’s like everybody, they broke us up.

JENNY: She looked at me and she said, “This may scare you, but just trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

SID: It’s not going to scare me.

JENNY: Yeah, no, no, no. She looks me right in the eye and she says, “In the name of Jesus, I see you come out there now. So, I’m looking at her like, “There’s nothing here. I love the Lord. I love Jesus. You can pray all you want to,  till you’re blue in the face. Nothing is going to happen.” This went on for 15 minutes. It was extremely uncomfortable and I’m thinking, “I’ve got to get out of here. I just want to leave.” She took the Bible. She laid the Bible on my head. She began to pray in the spirit and all of the sudden I began to growl at her, they had to actually, two men had to come hold me down. I began to take my own fingernails and try to recut where I cut as a teenager and attack the lady. So, this went on and I was completely delivered. Those things that I was doing, those were the surface things. The spirit within me, the roots of rejection and abandonment and hate and anger and strife, all of those things were still there.

JENNY: I still had the roots of that and they came out and I was free. Set free indeed.

SID: You know, it says in scripture to him who’s forgiven much, they love much. When I see you worship, tell me about what’s going on inside of you. It looks to me like every fiber of your being is into it. It looks to me. Tell me.

JENNY: When I begin to worship, it’s like everybody goes away and it’s just me and Jesus. I can literally see Jesus in front of me. So, everything that I’m singing and saying comes from a heart of “this is my father, he loves me so much” and I’m just singing from a place of absolute adoration. It’s like the woman that came in with the alabaster box and she threw out all the proper etiquette, the rules, the regulations, she wasn’t even supposed to be in there, but she was so desperate for Jesus that she came in and she poured out everything that she had and she cried. She took down her hair, which was the glory of a woman. She didn’t care.

JENNY: She rubbed his feet. She just poured out everything and all the people watched and they didn’t say, “Wow that’s amazing.” They said, “She shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t be touching her. She shouldn’t be here.” Jesus said, “Her story is going to go on forever because in remembrance of what she’s done here.” That’s what a worshiper can tap in to and what we do before the Lord can literally transform our circumstances, our situations and our very lives.

SID: Most people can’t sing. Most people don’t have a great voice for singing, can’t keep a tune. But you’re saying that you can teach people, everyone to do what you do and go to that secret place you go to and out of that secret place is your victory and everything.

JENNY: Absolutely. For every single believer, every person on the face of this earth is actually called to be a worshiper. We’re called, we’re made to worship God. So, when you begin to tap into that, you could be crying, you could be laying out in your face, you could be bowing before God. You could just be purposing your heart to surrender everything to God and he will encounter you right where you are. I’m telling you I lived it, I know it. I’m a walking testimony that worship transforms your lives because it invites the presence of God in.

SID: Now, when we come back, I want to understand some keys that God has shown her for you to have this same intimacy and how about if I have her worship God and prophesy to you? Be right back.

sidroth on May 6th, 2019

SID: Did you know that you have a legacy? Natasha’s great-grandfather was the only Christian she knows of in her family. There were 70 years of atheism in the former Soviet Union, communism. How old were you when you saw your first Bible?

NATASHA: About 30 years old.

SID: Can you imagine? The first Bible she ever opened, she’s age 30. She was raised as an atheist. She couldn’t understand someone that believed in Jesus, but her grandfather, once a week, he would gather their big family together and he would read from what book?

NATASHA: He would pull his big Bible and he would open it. He would put his glasses on. He would point the finger on the page and start reading. My grandmother, his daughter, she would tell me the story over and over because when I was just a child, I would come to visit her every summer and she would tell me that story. Because I grew up under communism, didn’t know anything about God, I thought it was kind of she made it up or just a strange thing.

NATASHA: But then, after later when I became a Christian, got born again, the first thing that the Holy Spirit reminded me, it was that story. I knew that every time a miracle would take place when my great-grandfather, who was absolutely illiterate, didn’t know alphabet, couldn’t read newspaper with the Stalin speeches printed in there, and yet every Sunday he would open his Bible, put his 11 children around the table, and read the Scripture.

SID: One day, a colleague of hers, another atheist, Alla, had a brain tumor. She calls you up and what did she say?

NATASHA: Well, she invited me to come and visit her to her apartment. We hadn’t seen each other for almost a year and so I went to visit her. Here she started to tell me about Jesus. She gave me her story. She developed a brain tumor, and you know the medical service in Soviet Union was very poor, so the doctors really diagnosed her with a brain tumor and said that, “You are going to die. We cannot help you.” She went to all the extra sensories and the last person she went to was her aunt. She was an underground Pentecostal believer. Her aunt took her to the church and Alla received Jesus into her heart and right in front of all the believers, the swollenness disappeared. Pain was gone and so she was healed. The next day, she took all the medical papers that she had, went to the doctors, and just ask him to run the tests, etc., and they were so shocked to see that she was absolutely healed.

SID: What did you think when she told you what happened to her?

NATASHA: I thought just what the doctors told her. They said, “Well, sometimes unexplainable things happen, but it cannot be God because God doesn’t exist.” This is what it old her. “You know, don’t tell me about Jesus because it’s a medical figure” because this is exactly what the Soviet encyclopedia placed in every library all over the Soviet Union. It said next to Jesus Christ, “a mythical figure.” I told her, “He is just a fairy tale.”

SID: She gives you a Christian magazine.


SID: You don’t throw it away because at that time, in the former Soviet Union, they had nothing.

NATASHA: When Alla gave me this magazine, a Christian magazine printed in Russian, smuggled into the Soviet Union by Russian Baptists located in Sacramento, California, I took this magazine and told her, “Don’t call me anymore because, you know, I don’t want to hear about God. I don’t want to hear about Jesus. He helped you, that’s fine, but I don’t believe in Him.” I told her, “When I’m ready, I will call you.” I left.

SID: By the way, when you left, what was going on in the mind of your friend, Alla, when you walked out that door?

NATASHA: This is what she told me later. She said, “When you closed the door, I went into prayer and I told God, ‘God, she is going to hell. There is no hope for her.'” She really gave up on me. I was so resistant. I was so hard. I just wouldn’t accept that as a truth. I read from cover to cover this magazine and it’s the first Christian literature that I ever seen in my life. I decided to write a letter to the editor, very short. “I’m 29 years old, I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in the existence of God. If He existed, then why?” Then I listed all the questions. Mailed the letter. Gorbachev became just the head of the Communist Party. A little bit more freedom, but still the country was closed and KGB watched through every mail, so I didn’t expect even that they will let the letter go through the border.

NATASHA: Then two months later, to my surprise, I received this package. I opened the package and for the first time in my life, I see a small blue Bible in Russian. You know, there is something. This is what I realized. You can live in the lie. You can be brainwashed for 70 years in the country when the system tells you there is no God, and you really don’t know what’s truth anymore. But if you are looking for the truth, when you see it, everything in you really recognizes it. When I opened the Bible and the first page, the first verse, “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth,” something was going on on the inside. It sound so familiar, although I never read it before, never seen.

NATASHA: It’s almost like every cell in my body was responding to the truth. I didn’t know at that time what was it, but it was God already knocking at my heart and trying to reveal Himself to me. The funny thing was there was a Bible in the package, there were some Christian brochures, and I couldn’t really understand why in the world they would put 10 copies of the same issue of the Christian newspaper. Well, what happened was when I brought this package and this Christian literature to my home and I put them on desk and I start reading magazine and the newspapers, my father came. He was a political officer in the Soviet Army teaching communist ideology for 28 years. He comes home and here he sees all this Christian literature.

NATASHA: He got very angry and he said, “You need to get rid of this ’cause they will come.” They. You know, I didn’t know who “they.” “They will come and if they will see, they will arrest us, etc., etc.. Just take away this.” Because my family, we were readers. We love to read. We had a lot of books, Dostoevsky, Chekhov, Pushkin. I just hid those brochures between the books on the bookshelves, and then I hid one copy of the newspaper in my room and then I took the nine others. We lived in an apartment building and I put them in the mailboxes of my neighbors because, you know, you don’t waste anything in the Soviet Union. We lived in the time of deficit. You don’t throw away even a newspaper. I put in the mailboxes, thinking, ’cause I was still an atheist, thinking, “If they will come, then I will not be alone on the train to Siberia.”

SID: Okay. A miracle happened. Two months after she sent this letter to America that she didn’t even think would get there, a letter comes back from America and two sentences in that letter, you’ll be shocked when you hear it. Totally transforms her life. Be right back.