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SID: I’m so excited about what’s going to happen when you are cured and you are clean, and the changes that are going to happen in your marriage, in your family, in your community. But I am equally amazed at the research that you have, Dr. Weiss, on the brain. Tell me some of the things you found out.

DOUG: You know, you think this is new. But thousands of years ago, it says, when you sin sexually you sin against your own body, but I couldn’t have a theology professor or philosophy professor explain that to me. Now when I became a researcher in the field of sexuality, what happens is when we have a sexual encounter, we have the highest level of endorphins and [unintelligible]. These are brain chemicals. It’s the excitement center of the brain and boom, you literally attach and glue to whatever you’re looking at, whether it’s real or imaginary. So some of these teenagers at home looking at pornography are setting themselves up for failure later. You can attach to certain things. Like I know a guy, when he was a boy, he attached to brunettes or a certain body type and that’s what he did. And he married someone not like that. Right? Well one day he’s at work and a girl exactly like that walks into his life.

SID: So you’re saying the brain can’t distinguish between fantasy on the computer, the imagination, and the real life situation.

DOUG: Right.

SID: So it was a time bomb.

DOUG: It was bang, you know. And so he instantly was attracted to her and instantly had an affair with her within a couple of weeks. Okay. Because she capitalized on his neurochemical reinforcement towards her, you know, ring the bell, feed the dog. Okay. So when he saw her, he salivated. And that’s why your husband is kind of doing this when he looks at that kind of thing. And so, and he’s been clean for now 15 years or so. All right. So there is healing and there’s hope. But we can actually prevent this stuff. There are teachings that can help our young men, and men, get involved. Get in the war. This is a war and every man needs to be in battle. Every wife needs to be asking the questions and helping your sons. This is time to do war back so that we don’t have these problems 30 years down the road.

SID: Now you used the phrase that I’ve used since then, that I love. And that is, every husband that I’m talking to right now, you have a different father-in-law than you think. Let me tell you who our father-in-law is. God is your father-in-law. You better watch what you do to your wife. That is powerful.

DOUG: Oh yeah. Marriage is three people. It’s you, your spouse and God. Even Christians define marriage between a man and a woman. That’s not biblical and it’s not supernatural. Supernatural is God, a man and a woman. Now that marriage, that tri-unity, that trinity on Earth as it is in Heaven is power, but it needs to have purity. Okay.

SID: Okay. When a family is walking in purity and you talked earlier about the secret sins that no one knows. But when a family is walking in purity, what changes usually occur in that family?

DOUG: Well in that family, it’s usually the environment. Where there’s no secrets there’s going to be honesty. You can be flawed and loved. You can be celebrated and cared for. Okay. But they’re going to be mature. What happens is, Sid, when someone gets into this kind of sexual sin, it robs them of emotional, spiritual and moral development. That’s why you have people who are like men of God going down and seeing prostitutes. Like, how do they get there? Because their moral and spiritual development erodes when the sexual sin comes into your life, and it robs you of the ability to make some of those choices clearly.

SID: I’m reminded of the scripture, a little leaven. “A little leaven will leaven the whole loaf.” A little bit of sin, you get away with it. You think no one knows. It’s your little secret. So what would you say to a man that’s watching us right now and they’re saying, “Well that’s me, I do it, but I can’t tell my wife these secrets, because if I do, she might leave.”

DOUG: Well what I would say to you sir is, I love you, I’ve been there, reading my Bible and having sexual sin. I know your pain. You don’t believe you’re lovable. Go find a man and get accountable. Tell somebody. Get out of your secret world. You deserve a clean heart, a clean life. But you will not get by just talking to Jesus. You’re going to have to talk to another man and get free. That’s what I would tell him. And he can get free. He really can.

SID: Now you found this out when you were struggling with your sin.

DOUG: I had a supernatural thing happen.

SID: I mean, going to Bible school and struggling with pornography. But the statistics say that so many ministers are struggling with pornography.

DOUG: Yeah, because good ministers are men and they’re chained by the world sexually. But here’s what happened to me. I had a supernatural encounter with the Lord. I was in seminary and the Lord said, “I want you to tell a man every time you sin sexually.” I’m like, Jesus, are you crazy? But what was my deal? A hundred percent of what you tell me to do. I said, okay. So I talked to my roommate and I said, because he knew I heard from the Lord. I said, “God told me if I act out sexually with myself or pornography I need to tell you.” He was like, whatever, okay. And then the first time I told him I felt really bad. The second time I told him I felt so bad because now I was, the humility of that was starting to heal me and I started to get free, Sid. I mean, I take a polygraph to verify I haven’t done anything sexually with myself, pornography or others in over 25 years.

SID: So if God could say, go free, I mean, coming from an illicit affair, he didn’t go into detail, shuffled around with foster parents, at a young age being given a book that’s pornographic, suicidal. If God could set Doug free, God will set you free. Give me one more tip besides accountability that people can hang on to.

DOUG: Well I think, first of all, you want to be accountable. But that’s an ongoing process. That’s why I’m encouraging churches to get involved in helping guys talk to each other. Let this be an open conversation. Instead of the rules of engagement being don’t ask, don’t tell, I say, switch the rules. Ask and tell, and we can be free.

SID: You know, wouldn’t it be wonderful for you to be free? I mean, yes, God forgives you, but once you, you know, your wife, your husband, because it works both ways, you know, they may not know what you’re doing, but they feel it. They sense it. Let’s get that wall down. Let’s get free.

DOUG: Amen.

SID: Let’s accomplish our destiny.

DOUG: Yes.

SID: We’ll be right back.

DOUG: Amen.

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